Saturday, 8 June 2013

In the Bedroom: previously titled Masters and Servants

Beside the fact that I, and hopefully you, now have the Depeche Mode song in your head, today's thought train was spawned from a conversation I had with my Dad. And to put your mind at ease, we were not talking about S or M, or S and M or Rihanna. We were discussing last night's Lang and Leary Exchange on the recent rise in the US housing market for larger houses, including the demand for abodes with 2 master suites. Reason cited: at least one half of the couple snores.

I understand snoring can be a big deterrent to a restful night's slumber, and I was told as much when my nasal passages swelled up like everything else on my body when I was pregnant. However I think we can complain of more than that: bad morning breath, the fart that escaped while you were REMing, blanket stealing, shifty legs, drool on the pillow, must I keep going? It was not too long ago that Victoria Beckham (we are getting really deep here) divulged the secrets of keeping her marriage alive, of which one of them was sleeping in seperate bedrooms every other week.

I mean if royal couples of the past kept separate apartments, wings and even entire castles, then why not the popalty of today? And why shouldn't we take their advice? It is most likely the kings and queens of the past, having married for political reasons, actually didn't like each other. And so, their extended stay-aways lasted for much longer periods of time. On the other hand, servants who were married to each other often bunked together in a relatively small, one or two room space (think of the Bates on Downton Abbey , and how happy they were!)

I am currently solo-una in my fortress of slumber. However, for a good ten years of my life, I didn't sleep well unless there was someone on my other side, nor did I truly fall asleep until that warm body climbed in next to me. Was it just because it was a routine I was used to? Would that have changed as we got older? I will never be able to answer that question, but what I can do is think of all the beautiful reasons why I did like sharing my bed:

If I woke up from a bad dream, there was someone there to hold me.
On a cold winter's night, there was someone there to warm me.
If I heard scratching at the window, there was someone there to protect me.
On a hot summer eve, there was someone there to whisper - a cool breath on my ear.
When I could not sleep, and tossed and turned, there was someone there to talk with me.
If I fell asleep exhausted, and dropped the book I was reading, there was someone there to mark my page and safely place it for me.
And when I felt a morning nudge, a salute hello, there was someone there who wanted me.

I just can't imagine that couples are separating themselves because it's "healthy for sex", or a sign of luxury, or to show how strong they are because they have deemed themselves "together but independent". Touch is one of the most powerful healing tools we have and just as our skin cells recoop and regenerate overnight (and I am hoping my overnight cream is helping with some of that), lucky are the ones that can also regenerate their souls by close connecting in a shared bed.

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